how to be happy on your own, shells, magazines, peach, candle, coffee, mouse, keyboard, orchid
How to be happy on your own. Photo: Mark Alexander @lostpeony

When my partner died, I thought my world had ended. I shut down and I refused to think about a future on my own. Let alone be happy on my own. I didn’t want it and I didn’t see the point in it.

Fast forward two and a half years and I am still on my own but with one difference – I am happy. I enjoy my own company, I like doing things on my own and I like the freedom that comes with it. Here are some of the things that help me to be happy on my own:

Become your best friend

We all have that one person in our lives who is always there for us. They help us through good times and bad. We trust them with our secrets and we rely on their advice when we need to make important choices.

Guess what? You don’t need to look far to find your best friend. You already have the makings of being your own best friend. You are always there for you; you know your deepest secrets; you trust yourself more than you trust anyone else and you know what’s best for you. Embrace that and use it to your advantage.

Being your best friend can help you overcome your insecurities and teach you how to embrace loneliness.

Find a hobby

The more I was coming to terms with my loss, the more I began to realise that I needed to do more of the things that I liked. I used to do so much before I met my partner. I had hobbies and interests of my own but I gave up on them in order to invest more time in our relationship.

I signed up to my local gym which turned out to be the best present to my health and fitness. It taught me so much about myself, my limits and my abilities. It motivated me to look after myself and put my health and wellbeing before anything else.

Find something you always wanted to do and just go for it. Sign up to a course, join a group of interest and challenge yourself. Go out of your comfort zone and push your limits. That will help you grow and take your mind off whatever worries and troubles you may be going through.

See the beauty around you

I notice and appreciate so much more of my surroundings now that I am on my own. I go out for walks by the river, in the park or out of town. There is so much beauty around us which we often blank out.

You don’t have to go far to find beauty around you. Open your eyes to it and make it your business to notice it.


You need to take breaks in order to recharge your batteries. Don’t be afraid to slow down and do something to help you relax.

I like to sit in front of the fire listening to classical music and doing nothing else for an hour or so. In the autumn and spring, I light scented candles instead. Lavender and driftwood are my go-to relaxation scents. In the summer, I like to open all windows and let in the cool evening breeze as I listen to my relaxing music.

Find out what makes you happy

What works for me doesn’t necessarily mean that it works for you too. Find what makes you happy and do more of it every day. Go back and remember the best moments of your life: places you’ve been, people you’ve met; activities you’ve done; dishes you’ve had and anything else. Write them down paying particular attention as to why you were so happy. Identify these triggers of your happiness and implement them into your daily routine.

I would have never imagined that I would write an article teaching you how to be happy on your own. My loss was too big and it left a huge gap in my life. It took me a long time to realise that the best thing I could do is to fill that gap with things that made me happy.

I hope that this article gives you hope and inspiration to do more of the things that make you happy 🙂


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